Today I am not so flakey

When I realized that it would be December after Thanksgiving weekend, I freaked out. I would be arriving home after visiting my sister on December 1. Admittedly this meant that there would be 23 days until Christmas, but holy cow, that's not that many days. I am a believer in getting the holiday stuff like present buying, Christmas card sending, and other details out of the way, so I can truly enjoy the season. I want to go to parties in pretty dresses and gorge on fancy cheeses while sipping San Pellegrino.

So today I updated my Christmas card mailing list and spent a small fortune at amazon.com If amazon.com were a person, I would offer to bear its children--I love it. Needless to say, I am feeling pretty good and will spend the weekend looking for fancy party clothes.

I just took a two hour nap

So, generally when my babe takes a nap, I put myself down for a 30-minute cat nap. Not today--two hours. I feel a bit slothful, but not enough to regret sleeping. One of the perks of being anti-design, is that instead of painting, scrapbooking, cleaning, or any other such useful task, is that every once in awhile you wrap a duvet around you and dream. Sweet dreams.

I officially hate the Environment!

The other day a glass bottle of soy sauce fell out of my cupboard leaving broken glass and nasty brown liquid all over the floor. Since a few days ago I believed in doing my part for the environment, I had no paper towels. I believed in being a good steward and used dish towels that I could use and re-use and re-use. Dish towels do not clean up broken glass. If I had paper towels I could just sop up the mess and dispose, but no I had to clean the mess up with a dish towel, shake the contents into a bag, and then try and rinse the dish towel to be used again. This left tiny little gashes on my hands. I finally ended up using a bunch of dish towels as to avoid the cuts and then throwing them away. Take that earth, how long does a glass and soy sauce soaked towel take to decompose? Probably a bit longer than it will take for the cuts to heal on my hands--oops. But I would do it again.

Easing the Pain

Today I picked up my son from school and by the look on his face it was apparent that he had a difficult day. I know that my son has a sensitive soul and felt he needed some lovin'. So, I headed to the nearest bakery to teach him the beauty of drowning out his sorrows by consuming products made of bleached flour, sugar, and butter. While at the bakery I let him pick out anything he wanted, and just so he didn't feel awkward I also picked up something for myself. For me, that special something was a brownie pecan pie--WOW--it transformed my life. The best thing is now I have a cooking project to occupy my time. Therefore, I can pretend to take the high ground and claim I am parenting--where in fact I will be ignoring my children for the sake of culinary arts.

Goals

Part of being anti-desing is having a strong, very strong belief in "me" time. Thus, I am taking off for a vacation with my friends and am taking no children. This means: I will not wake up before noon, I will not prepare any food, I will not change any diapers, and I will not have to whip out my conflict resolution skills. Life Rocks!! My only goal is to get my annual girl's trip extended from a long weekend to a month. I am pretty sure I can accomplish this by the end of the next decade. I guess that makes me a believer in goals--who knew?

The anti-blog?

So, initially this blog was meant for me to post every day to discuss my life of anti-design, but apparently I also live a life of anti-blog. This led to guilt because my mission in life is to make you all feel better because you are in no way as flaky as I am. Luckily, I got over the guilt after about 15 seconds--I have a litany of great excuses, but I am saving them for more dire situations. Now you have a good excuse for not updating your blog because the anti-design mom can't daily blog, so why should you? Down with daily posting!! Unless you need blogging as an excuse to ignore children and housework. "Sorry, kids can't help you with that oozing blood coming from your knee, I need to blog."

My Mission Statement

This blog is a place for mother's to go to feel better about themselves--to know that they aren't the only ones who even though they started laundry last week, they still have it in the living room waiting to be sorted and folded. Like other mom blogs, this blog may even feature favorite products, but it won't be something cute made for etsy that I whipped up while knitting with my toes. It will be things that save me from screaming out in terror in those moments where there is not a lot of love in my heart. Things like clorox wipes. No they are not environmentally friendly or economical, but when my son pees on the floor while claiming to pee in the toilet, I pluck out a wipe, hand it to him, and thank a higher being that the bleach in the wipe will theoretically sanitize the floor. So sit back while parenting with a computer on the lap, nod your head in slight shock, and find peace in your soul because you cannot be the worst parent out there because you have washed the sheets this month. Haven't you?